The below joke was emailed to me by one of my lead-footed, repeat customers. I don’t know who wrote it but would be glad to give credit is whoever did. Anyway, I hear a lot of traffic ticket jokes and this one is better than most.
A police officer stops a driver for running a red light.
The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
The officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The “Motorist” instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.
When he gets done with writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.
He then hands it to the “Violator” for his signature.
The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.
The Officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an Asshole!”
Two months later they’re in court.
The “Violator” has such a bad driving record he is about to lose his license and has hired a lawyer to represent him. (the usual bullshit).
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks:
“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my client?”
Officer responds, “Yes sir, that is the defendants copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.
Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”
Officer: “Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”
Lawyer: “What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”
Officer: “Aggressive and Hostile Sir.”
Lawyer: “Aggressive and Hostile?”
Officer: “Yes Sir.”
Lawyer: “Officer, Are you sure it doesn’t stand for Asshole?”
Officer: “Well Sir, You know your client better than I do!”
CASE CLOSED!
